I am so lucky

I do not have to worry about this.



This story is really striking me for some reason. I'm not sure if it's because today is my due date (baby will come any day now!) and I'm thinking of my child in the future, or if I'm thinking of myself as a teenager, or if it's all hormonal or what... In any case, this and other recent articles on sexual assault and rape have been prominent in my thoughts recently.



I am so lucky. I can honestly say that I have never had anything bad happen to me.



Even with this luck, I find myself frequently overthinking things, making mountains out of molehills and the like. Domi always reminds me that if I can't actually do anything about something, then there's no use in worrying about it, and I *know* this with my brains... the problem isn't my brains. Silly brains. They know all about that.



No, the problem is the step in-between knowing there's nothing I can do and getting to the platform of I-am-therefore-not-worrying-about-it. I saw a sign somewhere that said 'worry is a misuse of the imagination.' I LOVE that and believe it. I still find myself over-doing things: overthinking, over-reacting...



I have a theory that part of that is related to my training as an actress - a part of me that I didn't let go of, even though I haven't flexed that muscle in years. It's *not* the most useful part of acting that I could hold on to.



Who else worries for no reason? Who doesn't worry and can give me a step by step of how to just relax? I can't seem to turn off my brain sometime.



And... after all this is said and done, I'm also cognizant of the fact that I am 9 months pregnant and have recently been super hormonal. So. Am I usually like this? I honestly can't even remember at this point.



Gah!



In any case, I do know that I am one lucky lady. I have always had everything I needed and most of what I wanted. I'm educated and well-traveled, healthy and happy. I have access to things that lots of people can't even dream of. So. Why worry? :)

Maternity Leave

I'm on a soft maternity leave. I say that because I'm doing some administrative work from home that I kind of wanted to do, but didn't feel like I need to go into work for. So I'll do a bit of that this week and then that'll be it. I'll be on maternity leave. Because... I'm going to have my baby. Next week. Supposedly. :D I'm pretty excited. Scratch that: I'm super excited. Yay! Baby!!

This is our baby's drawer. We are ready. Ish. Well. As ready as anyone ever can be. ;)

Hormones

This whole pregnancy has been a good one. Up until last week I've felt pretty great. 

I'm in the final crunch (3 weeks away!) and it seems my hormones are just now getting the best of me. I'm feeling incredibly irrational and yet simultaneously helpless to the capriciousness of my feelings. I'm having a hard time making small decisions. Like... what to eat in a restaurant. Um...

I'm going to make it work, though. Make it work.